Michelle Mullady - Intuitive Living
  • Home
  • About
  • Work With Me
    • Spiritual Life Coaching
    • Journey to the Heart Coaching Package
    • Energy Therapy
    • Angel Messenger Sessions
    • Workshops and Events
  • Testimonials
  • Shop
    • Book Endorsements
  • Free Gifts
  • Blog
  • News
  • Contact
BLog Title

What Color Are Your Glasses? By Dr. Cynthia Phelps

8/24/2018

0 Comments

 
Picture
The high-spirited and humorous Dr. Cynthia Phelps joins Intuitive Living once again as the "Earth Angel Spotlight" this month with a thought provoking guest post, "What Color Are Your Glasses?" I feel delighted to reintroduce you to Cynthia's incredible healing work in the world. Enjoy! If you like what you read, please comment and share this post with your friends.
"You are in charge of the thoughts in your head and how they make you feel about the world and people around you.“
~ Dr. Cynthia Phelps

Picture
I learned a new word, pronoia. It’s the opposite of paranoia, where you think bad things are going to happen to you. Pronoia is when you think the world is conspiring to support you, and good things are going to happen to you.
 
Pronoia reminds me of what people call rose-colored glasses.
 
It got me thinking, rarely (if ever) have I heard “rose colored glasses” used in a positive light. It’s usually been spoken to me as a warning or admonition that I was being too positive and I better watch out because bad things were going to happen.


Why is our society so slanted against rose-colored glasses? Perhaps it’s leftover from the genes that have helped our species survive. Neuroscientists have defined a set of brain areas called the default mode network. This network is active when we are not purposefully controlling our attention.
 
The default mode network is a mental state where we are scanning the internal and external environment anticipating things that could harm us. You can imagine that if you were living in the jungle, or working in a dangerous situation, having an active default mode network would keep you out of harm's way, as it would alert you to any possible dangers, and turn your attention towards them.
 
But in present day society this default mode network does not always serve us. Often we are completely safe and out of harm's way, but our default mode network is still telling us “hey, that guy in the meeting doesn’t like you, he’s going to get you fired,” or “you are running out of money and your going to be destitute.” Often these messages are far more dramatic than the actual situations and can cause unneeded stress and anxiety.
 
When our default mode network picks up something it thinks is a threat, it treats it like a life-or-death situation. So we end up with adrenaline pumping through our systems for no good reason. Even worse, having an overactive default mode network can raise your levels of cortisol which causes many of the negative health effects of stress.
 
So back to rose colored glasses.
 
First a story. I had a client come to me because he was miserable and could not see the joy in his life anymore. He was is a difficult situation with an adult son living with him who had mental health and addiction issues. Society is happy to validate his sadness and frustration.
 
He was attracted to my work in self-compassion, yet, he was still very skeptical that there was anything that could make a difference after all the therapy, group meetings, and self-help books he had forged through.
 
When we first met, he said something along the lines of “So this self-compassion stuff is like you telling me to put on my rose-colored glasses, right?” I laughed and said “actually, it may be more about taking off your crap-colored glasses.” This gave him pause, and then made him laugh heartily.
 
We spent the rest of his session looking carefully at the thoughts he was generating about his son and situation and how we could shift them to be more self-compassionate as a way to get back to joy. Basically we were looking for where his default mode network was telling him stories about how bad things are and will be.
 
What I love about self compassion is that the process is not about taking negative thoughts and forcing them to be positive (putting on the rose colored glasses). The process is about noticing the difficult thoughts and seeing how they make you feel, and if they are causing suffering, to give yourself some love for that suffering.
 
Once you have shown yourself some compassion, then take a careful look at the thoughts causing your suffering. How can you create a replacement thought that is compassionate, honest and fosters a sense of well-being? These new compassionate thoughts can be referred to on a regular basis as a reminder to help you to take off the crap-colored glasses.
 
You are in charge of the thoughts in your head and how they make you feel about the world and people around you. It really does make a difference how you frame your thoughts. It can change your emotions and your behavior.
 
What I love about self compassion is that it’s a gentle way of shifting out of the default mode network and opening to the possibility that you can see the world and yourself in a new light.
 
At the very least, take off the crap-colored glasses.

Picture
About Cynthia Phelps, PhD - Founder, InnerAlly 
Cynthia has a passion to help people improve their             mental wellness through the practice of inner compassion. She founded InnerAlly a company that develops mobile technologies to help people practice compassion on a daily basis. Her background is in neuroscience with a focus in learning and behavior change. She has over 18 years of experience in developing tools to help people change their health behaviors. She is a Peer Recovery Coach and a Trained Teacher of Mindful Self-compassion. 

Mindful Self-Compassion

Dr Phelps is offering a life-changing course in how to practice self-compassion in San Antonio starting on Mondays at 6:00 to 8:30pm from  September 17 - November 13, 2018. This 8 week program is based on groundbreaking research that has been shown to raise your levels of self-compassion so you can make the changes you want in your own life.  Learn more here: CynthiaChelps.com/msc or by contacting her directly at 713-478-4018 or at Cynthia@InnerAlly.com

Copyright Cynthia Phelps 2018

0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Free Ebook

    Free e-book!

    Sign up and receive my  newsletter, Living in the Light, and a FREE COPY of my e-book, Everyday Awakenings: 21 Days
    ​of Intuitive Living
    Award Winning Book

    Award-Winning Book!
    The Joy of Loving Yourself: 101 Ways to a Happier You by Michelle Mullady
    PURCHASE HERE

    For more great articles about self-discovery and sisterhood, visit Wild Sister eMagazine.
    Picture

    Picture

    Author

    Michelle Mullady is an internationally known spiritual life coach, best-selling motivational/inspirational author, master energy therapist, angel intuitive and transformational healing workshop leader. Through in-person and online consultations, workshops, events, radio appearances, and writing for 20 years, she helps others reclaim their physical energy and personal joy and find their life’s direction. She lives in San Antonio, Texas where she operates her thriving private practice, Intuitive Living, dedicated to the highest healing and awakenings possible for each individual client.

    Archives

    November 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    January 2020
    September 2019
    July 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    February 2018
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.