As a smart gal, I used to believe I had it all figured out, until I didn't. I couldn't quite put my finger on my low-level (or sometimes extreme) anxiety. I only paid attention to my gut when it was clenching up, otherwise I added everything up above my shoulders.
This way of living is shared by so many in terms of over-thinking, strategizing, manipulating and trying to figure things out that are beyond their control. The truth is no one ever showed us how to really trust our intuition, or to have faith in divine intelligence. In my work and my life, I come across many individuals who have been striving to prove themselves. They strive to be perfect and please everyone in order to gain the validation, which they believe is crucial to their own approval.
If we feel compelled to look for validation outside of us, by being someone we think would be worthy of it, we are living in our head and are disconnected from our authentic self. But what if it looks good on the outside? What if people admire us or think we are special, because we know how to capture their approval? How could we risk losing it?
The big hole in living a perfect life of people pleasing, multi-tasking and other pursuits is that our inner world is never present. Our gut (a.k.a. intuition) is giving us signals all the time, but when we are too afraid to let go of what others will think or feel about us (as though we have any real control), we ignore it. We live someone else's life and wonder why we struggle!
I lived this way for years, with my intuition encroaching ever so slowly into my life. Moments started coming when I realized I couldn't control the guy I was with no matter how much I was willing to show up as Donna Reed. Even more disheartening was how I felt: depleted, angry, sad, lonely and unclear. I couldn't see what my issue was even though that little voice inside was telling me, I ignored it. I had a propensity to complicate things, to make everything a challenge, so whatever path I took, I would suffer enough to claim victory upon arriving at the destination.
Ease was a foreign concept.
There seems to be a standard in our society about suffering and sacrificing; most of us do not trust easy. We think there's a catch. And when we're busy thinking, we're right. Coming to a space of ease only happens if we allow it. It starts with listening to the voice inside of us, the one that wants us to live passionately, creatively, joyously and in the trust and faith of abundant love. If you're like me or some of the people I work with, you love the idea! You want to trust your gut and get out of your head, but find it nearly impossible to do so.
The unknown with its set of 'what ifs' can keep you stuck right where you are, afraid to experience life being fully present in life. Acceptance, validation, love and reward seem to hang in the balance when you listen to your gut, because it will require change.
And that's scarier than living life in your head.
Until it isn't. Reaching the point of understanding that all the energy going towards controlling the world around you is not bringing you happiness, peace or fulfillment can resemble a brick falling on your head. We all fear having regrets, and when you realize that by living in your heart and relying on the inner wisdom you were born with, rather than controlling with your head, you experience life without wistfully looking back, wondering if you should've done it differently.
Now how do we do that? How do we live from our intuition as a guiding, loving force of nature?
1. Slow down
When you slow down, relax or even take a few deep breaths, it gives you the space to actually listen and pay attention to what is going on inside of you. The other benefit is you're able to see that hurrying to make a decision or to continue doing what you've always done is not the best use of your time. You'll intuitively feel it and the more you do it, the more you learn to trust.
2. Get Physical
Intuition can be felt physically. It’s an urge. If we fight the urge, we're fighting our truth. We’re organically directed on where we should go or what to do. Notice if you go against the sensation in your gut, you almost always regret the decision. The picture in your head may be different than your intuition, so trust your gut, because we really don’t know how we’re going to get there anyway. Let your inner guide lead, and it will be better than you imagined. Feel into it.
3. Practice Self Love
The more you accept yourself flaws and all, the less compelled you are to create a life based on what others may want and the more inclined you are to listen to your own intuition. Self-care includes setting boundaries, getting in touch with your passion, and feeling your desires. Making them a priority will help your intuition come alive.
Tracy Crossley is a Master Intuitive based in LA County where she conducts sessions in person, over the phone and through Skype. Her blend of intuition, business acumen, psychology, Reiki, spirituality and subconscious pattern breaking helps people identify their real obstacles and connect emotionally. Her straightforward approach has attracted CEOs, people in work/life transition and other Type A individuals who think intellectualizing problems is the key to solving them (Hint: it isn’t).
Tracy studied neuropsychology and received her BA from Charter Oak State College. She is a Reiki Master and blogger for publications such as Huffington Post and Elephant Journal. Learn more about Tracy at www.tracycrossley.com.
Copyright Tracy Crossley 2016